Once during residency, I was taking care of a patient having a large and lengthy abdominal surgery with significant blood loss and fluid shifts. My attending had scoffed at the idea of an arterial line (used to monitor blood pressure and labs intraoperatively) so we had none, and the patient had started to look increasingly under-resuscitated over the hours approaching 5PM. I asked my attending for help and other attendings for help (who told me to call my attending), and my attending came to the OR and made fun of my concern about the patient with the surgical team. Then he left for the day without signing out to the next attending, who then also trivialized me and my concerns. Eventually the patient crashed, and I got my invasive monitoring, and was finally able to start the resuscitation that should have been happening throughout. Fortunately, the patient ultimately ended up doing fine.
Not that it matters, but I was also supposed to have been relieved at 6 that night, but ended up being at work until 9PM. I had to be back at work at 6AM the following day, AND still had to read up on and discuss my preops for the next day with a different attending who was deaf. After I did all of that, I finally went to bed at 11PM or some such. At 2AM I woke up having a panic attack about: what had happened in the OR that day, my feelings of guilt about not being able to take the best possible care of the patient, what the next day would be like with this deaf attending who never understood anything I said, and what the following Saturday would be like since it was early Friday morning and I was scheduled for a 24 hour call that Saturday, and I didn't know how I was going to survive that.
So I called in sick.
I am 100% sure that my residency program held this against me. They never mentioned the events of that evening explicitly, but... it was clear from the feedback I later received that calling in sick was not viewed favorably. But you know what? F*ck them. I slept until 9AM that Friday, and then showed up for call on Saturday well rested and ready to go. I have gone on to complete my training, and find a job that I really like where I feel like I can do meaningful work.
Simone Biles withdrawing from the Olympics brought back these memories.
My profession is really messed up too.