Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Sleep

LV and Sarah have another podcast out today.  This one is on morning routines.  I have to be honest, I thought that it was going to be about getting the kids out the door.  But it wasn't!  It was about Laura's lack of a morning routine and love of sleeping late (a-freaking-MEN), and Sarah's love of getting up early to do stuff for herself.

Note: Sarah gets 2.75 hours of me-time basically every single day, which is amazing.  I will probably never really have that.  As an anesthesiologist my days will tend to be earlier and longer by definition.  I will probably have more than 20 minutes however, which is my current average on days where I'm not scheduled for mandatory overtime or on call (and a reason why reading to my daughter for 20 minutes a day will probably never happen.... which is a major source of guilt for me lately, but I digress.)

I was delighted.  I am sooooo over reading about the struggles of getting the kids out of the house in the morning.  1) I don't find it to be onerous myself because I rarely if ever do it.  2) When I do get to do it, it's a treat for me, and it takes my daughter aboooouuuut 35 minutes from bed to bus.  So, not too shabby if I do say so myself!

Instead it was about using the time in the morning to get things done, or conversely, NOT using that time in the morning if you can't.  OMG Laura's comments at the end about how many people try but fail to get things done after their kids go to sleep because their energy levels are low was just so on the nose.

Anyway.  My routine on a typical OR day is as follows:

5:10 wake up
then I wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, make lunch for myself and catch the 5:44 bus to work.
I arrive at work at about 6AM on the dot.  Then I RUN for the next 11.5 to 14 to 16 to 25 to 28 (oh god) hours or so.
On a "normal" (i.e. non-call, non-overtime day) I get home probably around 6:30 or 7 on average.  Then I shower, eat, lie on the couch for 20 minutes (sometimes doing anesthesia questions), go upstairs and beg my daughter to go to bed, and then typically crash into bed myself at about 8:30.

My sleep number is 8.5.  I am 100% positive about this.  I also have chronic (most likely residency induced) insomnia, so about one out of every 3-4 nights I will be up for no reason at all for 1-2 hours.

My husband gets up at 4AM to go swimming.  He has no discipline about going to bed whatsoever and is a terrible sleeper.  I officially kicked him out of our room three years ago.  We are both much happier.  When I could sleep until 7 it didn't bother me that his alarm woke me up at 4 every morning.  When I started getting up at 5, I'd be up 2-3 (insomnia), wake up at 4, and then not be able to fall asleep again until 5.  That was not sustainable.

******

As for the guilt about reading.... well, as you know we're supposed to read to our children every day for 20 minutes.  This is a thing.  They show you the chart that demonstrate how a "little" every day builds up over time.  I suspect that our NOT reading to Dyl every day is probably why she doesn't read yet on her own.

- I have asked our au pair to do this when Dyl gets home in the afternoon.  It happened for like, a week.  Now we have to ask again.  Scratch that.  *I* have to ask again because my husband just won't.  (Hi sweetie!  If you're reading this, please nag AP#5 about reading to Dyl!  Thanks!)
- My husband is a lark, and literally starts falling asleep at 8PM.  Literally.  I've tried to convince him that lying down while reading to her probably isn't helping him, but... that hasn't gotten me very far.

So basically, if I want this to be done, I will have to do it myself.  And currently, if I do the reading, I have 0 minutes of time to myself which is not sustainable.

Ergo, no reading.

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In other news, I decided that I'm not going to do some presentation at my daughter's school.  I will go read a book to the class on her birthday like I already planned, and hope the teachers don't mention it again.  If they do, I will.... I'm not sure.  Probably tell them no.  It's just too much extra work, and most importantly, I don't want to do it.  The thought of it is stressing me out.  Actually, I'm feeling kind of pissed that they requested to my face that I do this because now I feel obligated, and THAT is stressing me out.  So No.  Not happening.

******

One point about the podcast which rubbed me wrong -- the point at the end when LV said, "Vote!  So your school district gets money so parents don't have to volunteer!"

No.  Be rich so you can move to a district where the schools already have money so parents don't have to volunteer.*

Just wanted to throw that out there.


*My not wanting to volunteer at my daughter's school has nothing to do with public school district funding.

3 comments:

nicoleandmaggie said...

Agree with you on that last point. You can't get blood out of a stone. Unless there's some way to get federal funding of schools instead of local with Tiebout sorting and carved up districts like what we have now. I don't see that happening any time soon.

Also I thought I was supposed to do a whole ton of productive crap before breakfast. Thank goodness I now have permission not to. Whew.

Kudos for deciding not to do the presentation. Mainly because that's the choice I would make! (Currently I am not attending the Wed before Thanksgiving grandparents' day celebration in lieu of grandparents, though DH will be.)

I love sleep so much.

My thought is always that my kids are turning out great-- happy, healthy, well-adjusted, etc. etc. etc. If that changes in any way, we'll re-evaluate. Until then, no guilt.

gwinne said...

My sleep number is also 8.5. Right now it's coming out to 7.75 most week days. (On weekends, I can doze a bit longer)

My days are not as hectic as yours, not nearly as relaxed as Sarah's, and not outsource-able as LV's. I would not be willing to sacrifice sleep to have more 'me' time. I accept the fact that my life will look different once LG goes to college in five years!!!

Anonymous said...


I don't volunteer at my daughter's preschool and I don't feel bad about it at all.

Makes absolutely no sense to me. The reason I'm paying them is so that I can have some free time for myself while they take care of my child. I even told them that.
They were not happy but that's their problem.